Overcoming My Piano & Myself

I sat alone crying before the piano, attempting to read the sheet music and translate it so that my fingers would hit the right keys to make a sound resembling music.  These 88 black keys represented a mystery to me for most of my life.  Yet, now a piano occupied a large space in my living room.

The decision to buy the piano was spontaneous as an elderly couple in my Aunt's neighborhood wanted to sell their piano for a low price; the only catch ~ we would have to move the piano ourselves.  I reasoned that the piano would be a great instrument for the children to learn and passing this opportunity would only cheat my children. 

The first month the piano arrived, my children both showed great interest in it.  My daughter quickly learned to play a few simple songs.  And, then the novelty wore off as she outright rejected the instrument and refused to play anymore.

  

I understood my daughter's rejection of the piano all too well and did not push her further.  I know that there will be a time and place for her to learn of her own volition.  I sat in her very same position nearly 40 years ago as my Mother attempted to teach me how to play this monster of an instrument.  My Mother made every effort to teach me, even writing the letters of the notes on the piano keys and sheet music.  I could not sit still and hated the discipline required to memorize all the notes.  I was obstinate in my refusal to learn and practice excusing my inability; attributing it to a traumatic brain injury I experienced in a car accident when I was 14 months old.  

As the piano collected dust in my house, I thought back on my life in tears.  I achieved high marks in college and rose to the position of Senior Vice President at a large financial institution.   I had overcome many obstacles to adopt two of the best children in the world. 

There was no real reason why I should cry.

Why then couldn't I play the piano?

The reason: I stood in the way of me.

The only way to learn would be for me to overcome my past failure so I signed up for piano lessons at a local music store.  I felt somewhat awkward and out of place as my 22 year old piano teacher greeted me for my first lesson.  It was not easy to sacrifice my pride in order to learn from such a young person  However, he had a skill that I desired so I sucked it up.

With some practice and effort, today I can play single notes well, but still struggle with playing chords in perfect time.  Additional time and effort are the only things that prevent me from playing better piano.

There are many obstacles in life, but most can be overcome.  In my case, a traumatic brain injury did not have long term physical effects.  Mentally, though, for many years I used the injury as an excuse for failures.   

Sometimes we find in life the biggest obstacle we need to overcome is our tendency to resign ourselves to failure as a result of our past negative experiences, fear of the unknown or getting lost in the emotion of a dire situation.  

Never allow yourself to get in the way of your own potential.  You must always look ahead.  It may sound cliche, but you can do great things when you focus your mind and energy on doing so.

Post Note:  As the writer and main subject, it was very difficult for me to tell this story.  Mostly close friends and family members are aware that I once experienced a traumatic brain injury (tbi).  By omission, most of my life I have hidden my tbi from others.  Perhaps my ego prevented sharing or I feared others' misconceptions about tbi's.  Today, I only share this story to show that we all have mental barriers to overcome.  I hope you will take something positive from my experience into your own course of action.  Wishing you all the best!